Roomie on the Barbie

I have solved all single women’s woes.

I rule.

Bow to me.

Ok, you don’t have to bow, but, listen up.

We always complain that it’s so incredibly difficult to meet awesome men – particularly in LA LA Land. Well, ladies, I have found the answer. We will never be shortchanged on wonderful men again. Let me tell you a story……

After giving the roommate the boot, I of course, need to find a new one. Late last week I put an ad on Craigslist to see what the world churned out at me. I structured the ad in such a way that I was very specific as to what I’m looking for in a male roommate (I generally only live with dudes – two girls would be estrogen overload in my house): fun, respectful, non-constant-drug user, dog lover, witty, active, employed, etc. After sending the ad into cyberspace, I started to realize that the specifics I placed in the ad are eerily close to what my desires are for a man (except I left out attractive because that’s just snobby and I could care less about that in a roommate).

The usual list of suspects began to pop up and then I received a diamond in the rough – 30 year-old, construction management professional, fresh from Australia. Hmmmmmm. I

called him to set up a time for him to see the house – the second he answered the phone I knew I was in trouble. It’s those damn accents!! Well, it’s just a voice, I thought. There are plenty of super unattractive radio personalities with great voices. Uh huh – yup.

I was solid in that belief until I answered the door. HELLO. Tall, dark hair, bright blue eyes, dammit. We ended up hanging out and chatting for about four hours. At the end of the evening I broke it to him (we shall call him Oz) that I didn’t think the roommate thing was going to work. At first he looked stunned and confused. Then the light went on and he smiled. “In that case, I guess I have to take you to dinner this week so this meeting wasn’t in vain.” Smart boy we have from down under.

I then came into the office this morning to receive another email from a potential roommate – 28-year-old Malibu native, new lawyer who surfs. It doesn’t suck to be me.
S
o, ladies, this is the answer. When you feel that all quality men have fallen off the face of the earth, just put an ad for a “roommate” online! They literally begin to bang down your door. Yes, a little deceptive but, hey, kudos for creativity, yes?

And as an added bonus today, I have the quote of the year: “Men are like fine wine; It's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you would like to have dinner with.” Ahh yes, ladies.