Friday the 13th My Ass

The dreaded day has come. Luckily, I think I managed to get all my crap luck out prior to Friday the 13th. But, I'm not going to answer the phone if I'm home alone or walk around in my skimpy pajamas outside if I hear a strange noise. I saw "Scream" (1-3). I even considered not driving today, but, I made it to work in one piece. Phew.

I was wondering this morning on my walk: who the hell was the brainiac that thought of Friday the 13th as unlucky hence creating mental mayhem among humans. I googled it and here's what I found, and when I read it, I almost fell off my chair. It said:

"Sources suggest the number 13 was purposely vilified by the founders of patriarchal religions in the early days of western civilization because it represented femininity. Thirteen had been revered in prehistoric goddess-worshiping cultures, allegedly, because it corresponded to the number of lunar (menstrual) cycles in a year (13 x 28 = 364 days). The "Earth Mother of Laussel," for example, a 27,000-year-old carving found near the Lascaux caves in France often cited as an icon of matriarchal spirituality, depicts a female figure holding a crescent-shaped horn bearing 13 notches. According to this theory, as the solar calendar triumphed over the lunar with the rise of male-dominated civilization, so did the number 12 over the number 13."

And why Friday?

"Sources say that the sixth day of the week is unlucky because Eve tempted Adam with the apple on a Friday."

So, Friday the 13th is unlucky because of women? VOMIT. Why do women get the blame for everything?! Adam didn't have to eat the damn apple. Men DO have the ability to say "no" you know. And, the number 13 is unlucky because of PMS? Please. If it wasn't for our "lunar cycles" none of us would be here. And you know what? Sometimes, when I get my period I think I'm the luckiest woman alive.

So there. I've debunked the legend of Friday the 13th as being unlucky. No Friday can ever be unlucky. It's the beginning of the weekend - you survived another work week. And to all the men out there that are thinking of also blaming hurricanes, earthquakes, skunked beer, Carson Palmer's season-ending injury, and anything else "unlucky" on women - you can all remind yourselves that the luckiest thing in the world for men is getting laid. And without us, you don't get that.

I need to go play in traffic now and put my theory to the test.