Life Mulligans

I've done it. I've managed to get myself 86'd from a bar. This is not only unbelievable, but, also rather humiliating that it's happened at 28, not, um, 19. And it's not just any bar, but the bar that K and Charlie work at - our local "Cheers". And all it took was a whole lot of sangria, heightened holiday emotions, a couple broken glasses and a missed smack. Or as I've begun to refer to it: the tantrum heard around the world. Target: Charlie.

There's definitely no real justification for my behavior. I'm apparently 28 going on 4. I gave the "I was possessed by the devil" excise a try with no avail. "I had an epileptic seizure" also didn't fly. Neither did "That was my twin sister - I was at church". So all I was stuck with was "I was belligerent. Merry Christmas." Ahhhhh, being a belligerent drunk is always so humbling - although I've always found it kind of amusing when others do it. Guess karma is reminding me whose ass she can kick - mine.

So I call "MULLIGAN". I would like to take my Christmas Eve behavior and cash it in as my 20's mulligan. (For those of you that live under a rock, the definition is: "A golf shot not tallied against the score, granted after a poor shot.") I believe that it be necessary to have one Mulligan per decade - kind of a "get out of jail free" card (don't worry - I didn't get arrested - I don't think). Since, after all, we are human, we're allowed to make mistakes once in a while (yes, even those of us who try and be perfect). Unfortunately, my mistake was at the sacrifice of 4 innocent pint glasses, may they rest in peace (and pieces).

A few lessons have been learned here. 1.) Don't let friends drink sangria on an empty stomach; 2.) Bars should serve all drinks in plastic cups; 3.) If you're gonna make a complete ass out of yourself, at least do it in some sweet shoes - perhaps people will remember your shoes and not your drunken tantrums; and finally, 4.) If you don't laugh at yourself, you WILL cry and that makes your mascara smear and you look like a crack head, so, just laugh.