Bad Santa

I want to preface this rambling with this: Christmas is for love, giving, remembering, and all that jazz. Like Linus in Charlie Brown’s Christmas, I understand and appreciate the meaning and history of Christmas. But, as Rachel, I can’t help but bring up the issue of Business Holiday Gifts and the companies that send them – this is for the benefit of all those out there.

I’ve been in the business of gift giving for quite a while. I’ve learned over the years, that the key to good business gift giving is to offer up something unique yet useful. Unfortunately, not everyone has been privy to this information, as our table in the middle of the office proves.

Let me give a current example:

I’m wondering who was at work one day and thought, “Hey, you know, instead of sending our clients nice gifts for the holiday season, let’s send them something REALLY tacky and REALLY creepy – just to set us apart from all the people sending those nice wine gift baskets…. Hmmmmm, I got it! Let’s send a Styrofoam clown/Santa/dragqueen with Italian color balloons and little peppermints stapled all over his body! It’s perfect!”

Um, no it’s not.

And who the hell approved it?! Not sure who is worse – the idea proprietor or the idea signer-offer. Both should get their corporate gift-giving privileges revoked – for good.

We’ve received it all – giant chunks of chocolate in unrecognizable shapes, sausage baskets, popcorn bins, the creepy Santa – you name it, we got it.

What ever happened to coffee mugs and gift certificates and wine? Is there a conspiracy to make office workers fat (and slightly creeped out) with bad gifts?

But I’m taking a stand. I’ve decided that next year, our office is going to send out TrimSpa or arm weights with a little note that says, “Remember us when you’re fat and bloated from all the weird, crappy, useless presents those other firms sent you. Happy Holidays!”

Ok, back to the tri-flavor popcorn bin……