Judy Who?

Last night my non-straight friend and I attended this charity event called "Divine Design" to support Project Angel Food (www.divinedesign.org) which, basically, is a shopping event where the money goes to support this fantastic charity. The smartest thing they did last night was host an open bar. It's amazing how much more you spend after a couple glasses of wine. Oops. They also provided entertainment with an act from Cirque du Soleil's "Zumanity" where we were given the opportunity to watch 400 lb. twin women juggle and whip gay men in thongs (ALL of them were wearing thongs - talk about large asses - holy cow). But, the event itself was entertaining enough.

One of the best things about living in LA is seeing not the "A" list celebs but the washed-up, has been celebs. They're the most fun. While we were browsing and taking in the amazing "people watching" we bumped into Judy Tenuta - she was (and I guess still is) a stand-up comedian back in the early 90s. I wouldn't have recognized her if I hit her with my car, but, J recognized her immediately. They actually had a strange past together and she was baffled at the details he recited of a conversation they had 13 years ago - so was I. She looked decent. Definite plastic surgery victim but very sweet and maybe a tad bummed we didn't ask for a picture or autograph. But, there's no getting cash for that on Ebay.

After I had a little chuckle, we headed over to the bar (again) (don't worry - big ass Rachel stayed away from the dessert table - didn't eat a single one). Now, keep in mind that the bars were all manned (literally) by these amazingly handsome men, who, I come to find out, are from a group called www.beautifulbartenders.com. And beautiful they were. Of course, being the giant flirts that J and I are, we had to get a little in. The first thing out of J's mouth at the bar was, "Excuse me, bro, if we were walking down the street, who would you check out first - me or her?" I almost peed my pants. The bartender just smiled and plead the fifth - didn't want to lose out on any potential tips - smart lad. But by the end of the evening, he had asked for my digits (STRAIGHT) and, duh, of course I gave them to him - even just as an ego boost to myself. (SEE? The diet's working already!) I'm not telling which one of the "models" he is, but, you all can take a guess by looking at the website....yummmmmy. ;)

So, at the end of the evening, I walked out with a large chunk missing out of my checking account (at least it was for a good cause), a visual burned into my brain of 400 lb. women in leather thongs, a giggle from running into a past-celeb, and, of course, a boosted ego from knowing that my shrinking ass is getting looks from beautiful bartenders -amen to that.

PS: My favorite purchase was a tank top that reads, "Will Work for Shoes". It is my mantra.