I Am the Reigning Queen of Thanksgiving

It's official. I'm a HELL of a cook. Thanksgiving was a smashing success - well, at least I thought so. 1.) No one threw up; 2.) No one threw anything on me; 3.) I still have 10 fingers; and 4.) Nothing MAJOR burned. I had one minor mental block against the sausage-stuffed mushrooms. For some reason, every batch I put in burned - I'm going to blame it on the fat-free mozzarella cheese and/or my hatred of mushrooms. But other than the little burnt soldiers, everything else was cooked to perfection - high in fat, high in sodium, and high in alcohol content - the way food was meant to be.

Later that evening, when we could button our pants again, we went out to meet up with the rest of the Venice orphans. It was at this point, that Kirsten and I learned a VERY important lesson. Apparently, in England, New Zealand, Australia, etc., the term "gobble gobble" means, um, "fellatio". Now, although Charlie was with us the entire evening listening to us greet each other with this term (hello? it's the sound turkeys make), he kept it to himself - had himself a bit of a laugh, apparently. It wasn't until K and I introduced ourselves to two gentlemen from New Zealand as "Gobble" and "Gobble" did we find out THEIR definition. So there we were, thinking we were being festive and silly and actually, we gave them all a lot of amusement. The looks on their faces alone was lesson enough for me. So, my friends, the term "gobble gobble" has lost it's holiday meaning. The Kiwis and the Brits have ruined the spirit of Turkey Day for us all. Turkey sounds have lost their innocence.

The rest of the 4-day weekend was spent watching extensive amounts of television and eating ridiculous amounts of leftover food. I am now a size 22 or so I feel so starting tomorrow (because I had a cheeseburger for lunch) I will be starting my "diet". ($10 says I quit after two days.) Stacey, K and I also spent some time airbrush spray tanning each other in my living room which proved to be quite the feat. But, I was complemented Saturday night on the "glow" that I was emanating, so the hour of standing naked in my living room getting sprayed with liquid ice (or at least that's what it felt like) was definitely worth it.

I hope you all had a festive holiday with zero trips to the ER or jail. I'll be posting some more photos of the Turkey Day Venice festivities as soon as K figures out how to upload them to a site that I can get them. Technology is not exactly our forte. GOBBLE GOBBLE - ha ha, just kidding.