Helping the Foreigners

Everyone has their talent or talents in life. And I think I discovered mine today.

I was having a conversation with my gorgeous friend, Angie today. She is a native of Peru but was educated in Wisconsin or some cold state and has lived here ever since. You can barely hear an accent, but, she still isn't exactly "fluent" in all the slang terms. And, in her defense, having any kind of conversation with me will elicit some confusion as I have a strange tendency to invent my own words and sayings. Not only is it fun, but it also leaves a lasting impression on people. I'm just a girl trying to make her mark in the world.

So, back to my original story. We were talking about god-knows-what and we got on the subject of Christmas and I mentioned that I am staying put in LA for Christmas this year due to rising plane ticket costs and overall irritation of traveling during the holidays. (I'm just plain burnt out on it.) And she made a sort of squealing noise and screamed "ME TOO!" Well, we were just thrilled (as you can tell from the strange sounds and use of capitalized letters) and she said to me, because this is our sense of humor, "I'm so excited I think I just peed a little."

I responded with, "I think I did too. But luckily, I'm wearing depends today so it caught the squirt." She burst out laughing and claimed to have never ever heard that phrase before, which completely baffled me because the use of "squirt" or "squirted a little" is a common crude phrase used by my friends and I. (We're sooooo ladylike.) For example, I always say, "Cameron is crazy. Whenever I walk him, he squirts all over ever tree he sees." To be honest, I just don't like the use of the word "pee". So, instead, I've always said "squirt". Well, she thought it was the funniest thing ever. And it was then that I realized my talent.

God put me on this earth to teach foreigners slang, crude, and Rachel-esque terms, phrases and words. I am like the Moses of bad american language. And here people thought I'd never make something of myself.

I really do that though. Remember Niko, our old German intern (I blogged about him). Well, everyday, he would come to me and I would teach him one word or phrase, such as "beat the shit out of" or "jank" or "weaksauce" or "what's the 411", etc. This legacy has continued with our new German intern, Christophe. Although it's not as often, I still teach him a number of phrases and such that will make his transition into LA living much easier (or so I tell them) - it will probably only score them nasty looks and a few smacks across the face. But I put that all in a disclaimer.

It's a very enlightening moment in life when you realize your born talent. I hope some day, all of you can discover your hidden talents as well.

Now I can go to pilates and really meditate because now my life has purpose.