Barter & Trade

I recently heard an unusual (or so I thought) agreement between a friend of mine and his wife. Now, I want to premise this description with the fact that I am not demeaning their relationship in the least. They are a happily married adorable couple and they shall live blissfully together forever and forever - as long as stripclubs are still around. Sorry, not necessary.

Anywhosits, onto the arrangement. This is what I like to call relationship barter and trade (b & t). I honestly believe that the differences in men and women really come to the surface when a couple participates in relationship b & t. So, my friend, the husband was approached by his lovely wife one evening with the idea of popping out some offspring. After some thought, he agreed contingent on the fact that he gets a puppy if "she gets" a baby; to which the wife agreed and so began the mission to make a baby - those details I have been spared, thank goodness.

I was a little surprised that he agreed to this b & t session as I didn't realize he was ready for a baby. To which, bless his heart, he responded with, "Well, I need something to get me beer so I don't have to get off the couch." CASE IN POINT.

Look, I'm not saying that men aren't sensitive or don't love children as much as women - I know plenty of cases where the roles are swapped. But, let's face it - men like to look at all things in relationship b & t through the glasses tinted with: beer, sex, sports, fast machines, and anything else that is "fun" (ie, puppy).

In my wacky, naive (ha ha) world, I always thought that babies came about in a relationship in one of two ways: oops and full-on-basil-temp-taking planning. It never occurred to me that men would withhold their little swimmers for negotiations. But alas! (I've never actually used that word before.) Maybe, in a way, relationship b & t is a co-gender game that we all play that guarantees the inability of one gender to have complete control over the other. Men need women to survive and women need men.

Whatever the reason for this relationship b & t all I know is that it must work in some ways. As crazy as it is - "I'll see your puppy and raise you a baby" - it is what keeps the balance between couples - or at least that's the goal.

So, note to self - in next relationship, know my bargaining power. Know what I want and what they want and: Ready-Set-Go! Let the games begin. One new pair of Manolos for one weekend of fishing with the guys. Or, twins for a speedboat. How simple is that?!