Woodwork

Can someone puhlease explain to me two things:

1. Why is it that men can smell when you're potentially single again?

2. What can't we mix n' match our men like we do our wardrobe?

Let's address the first one in one simple sentence. My OLD boyfriend, Midget Matt, emailed me yesterday (yes, same day as BS sought out some much-needed thinking time) and asked me to dinner ("just like the first night we met" - PUKE) this weekend. Do we give off a special scent that can only be detected by ex-boyfriends as soon as we are rejected/on a break/dumped/etc? Now, you ask if I'm going to do it. It might be fun to rub it in his face what he gave up, plus, I can score some free food and margaritas and then meet up with my friends later. Hey - I get hungry too, you know. I'm just trying to figure out how they can sense it. It's freakish, actually.

SO onto number two, which is actually kind of tied to numero uno. The margarita "first night we met" puke invitation made me think. There are so many qualities about Midget Matt that I wanted to instill in Charlie. And then, there were some qualities of Charlie that I wanted to instill in BS. So, why is it, that we can't just mix n' match our men like we do our outfits? Perhaps those Mormons are onto something - polygamy is much like mixing n' matching. Maybe on Saturday, I feel like watching football all day - Midget Matt is perfect. Maybe on Sunday I want to go dancing - BS. And Monday I want to, um, hear a British accent - Charlie. Why isn't it socially acceptable for me to have three boyfriends as they suit my moods? Better yet, it would be really amazing if women could "adjust" their men based on traits. Take a little of him, a little of that guy, etc. Then we'd all be happy and content. Although, we are women, so we'd be miserable because we'd have nothing to bitch about. Hmmmm. Maybe I need to rethink this a bit. Comments, ladies?