Miss Me?

Thought you might have missed me. I apologize for my suckiness lately, but, it's been pretty hectic up in this bitch. (Sorry - went to the Comedy Fiesta last weekend and they used that phrase a lot.) Plus, I've been wiped out from my recurring back pain so, I've been cranky and I didn't think anyone wanted to read a cranky Rachel blog. So, really, I was sparing you. So, there. You can't be mad at me now.

It's actually been a pretty eventful week. You can say it's been an eventful "typical" California/Hollywood week. Why, you ask? Let me explain just a little.

First of all, let's reverse in time to 2000 when little Rachel stepped onto Southern California ground as an official resident. At that time, I made a promise to myself that I would do ONE audition while I lived in LA. After all, isn't that what everyone does out here? For the past 5 years, I've avoided the industry all together but then, as fate may have it, I got thrown into it last week when a funny little casting note ended up in our office. "Wanted: Sexy Professional Females Who Wear Contact Lenses Wanted." (Ok, I added in the "sexy" part.) "Wait! That's totally me!" I thought. So I followed up with it and dragged my friend Stacy in (they were casting for duos) - and who better than the "Rachel and Stacy Comedy Hour"?!

The initial audition was pretty lax. We showed up and sat on a couch (hello? cliche.) and answered some of the casting directors questions on camera. We also had to take a photo together and the awesome advice given by the Casting Director's assistant was (since he obviously didn't think that we were naturally capable of smiling): "The trick is to look at each other and laugh and then look at the camera." Um, no. I looked at her and almost peed my pants. I'm sure the photo looked awesome. Thanks for the advice, bud.

After we managed to crack up the Casting Director and her camera lady, we left thinking "O yah. The documentary is totally ours." We did get our "call back" (I'm getting so fluent with the acting jargon) for the following Saturday. In LA style, to prepare, we raided the Fred Segal sale in the morning and cruised to our second audition with me sporting my new Valentino stilettos.

The second audition was actually quite nervewracking. There were 8 or so people in the room, cameras and lights everywhere. And we were seated in the lone couch in the center of the room. All eyes on us. It was awesome. We "performed" for the "crowd" for the next 20 minutes, discussing everything from shoes to salmon v. chicken to Stacy's excellent ability to "click her mouse" (that one got a LOT of snickers, even though she was innocently referring to her computer mouse). We were a smash hit. But, as we were leaving we had one of those "moments": we were exiting and the "stripper/models" were all moving in for their call back as well. Uh oh.

But, good news is that they were obviously going for the "whole package" because we landed the gig! Hollywood - WATCH OUT. Stacy and Rachel are entering the realm of documentary film. We're going to be HUGE. Who ISN'T going to watch a documentary on Professional Females Who Wear Contacts?! It's genius.

Now we're just waiting to find what our "shoot" date will be. How exciting. I hope I get to keep the shoes and the clothes. Maybe they'll even through in some Lasik surgery....hmmmmm.

Have no worries, though, I will not forget "the little people" when we blow up from our acting debut. I will always retain my Rachel-esque charm and, of course, the blog. The blog will live on forever.

Yup - in Hollywood style, I've also become delusional. Awesome.