There's More to Life Than A Great Bikini Wax - or Is There?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I've been a bad blogger this week. Give me a spanking and let's call it even.

It's actually been pretty hectic up in the world of Rachel, although, none of my time has been spent with BS - yah, the whole "work travel" thing is getting a little hard to swallow. Now, one would have thought that with the pep talk/counseling/chest beating episode he had with Mark he would have pulled his head out of his cute little butt, but, to my dismay, it didn't happen this weekend. So, now he is gone again for two weeks straight. So I sit and pretend to be patient. Bleh.

But, I find happiness in other things - like a perfect painless bikini wax and some new shades for my coiffe (the one ON MY HEAD, pervs). I also managed to save the life of my puppy, pay off my Manolo's, and hide from jury duty for two straight days. All in all, it's been a pretty cool week.

So, in the life of a woman, the bikini line can be a real pain (no pun intended). But, I finally, after 11 years, found the best waxer in all the land. Her spa is called Spa Jones and she's located in Culver City and her motto is: "Cleaning up the Earth - one coochie at a time." Gotta love her. Not only does everything come out straight (again, no pun intended), but it was virtually painless, comfortable and relatively inexpensive. Maybe too much info for you lads out there, but, for you ladies, it's a wish come true.

The flawless wax was followed by an all-important appointment with my hairdresser. Since it's almost officially fall (like we actually have that in LA), I went dark with lots of layers. I said today the layers almost look like a female mullet, but, I think most people would just call it "full of body" and "hip". I still want to tell people I have a female mullet because it sounds funny, but, don't get a horrible picture in your head. I'm still cool, don't worry. But I even scored a scalp massage from the hair washer chick and that was pretty bomb. I love getting my hair cut. Except I hate when people try and talk to me when I'm under the old lady dryer thing. I can't hear shit. So, I just nod and smile. (Hmmmm, maybe I shouldn't do that to someone with scissors.)

My "Super Woman" week has also included a frightening yet proud moment when I had to save the life of Cameron. He was munching away of a disgusting beef wishbone when all of a sudden I heard bizarre sounds coming from his direction. I ran around to him and started screaming "ARE YOU CHOKING?" Yah, Rachel, the dog is going to answer you - choking or not. So, I screamed out to my roommate, "How do you stop a dog from choking? Do I whip him upside down and shake him?" Apparently, Monday Night Football was too much for him to multi-task so I had to take matters into my own hands - literally. I shoved my hand down his throat and dislodged the slimy chunk of bone stuck in his mini throat. Phew. Pet saved. I can handle anything on my own. Girl power - grrrrr.

Finally, to catch you up to speed with me, I've also mastered my TiVo remote (holy crap that took me forever - you think I was mastering the law of relativity or something) AND joined a new gym (it's time for me to drop some of these excess LBS that are keeping me from fitting into anything that isn't elastic). Luckily, the gym is across the street from work, so, maybe I'll actually go once in a while. Watch out Jessica Simpson - I'll be sporting the daisy dukes soon enough.

So, now that you're caught up, I'll try and find some interesting adventures the rest of this week to keep you mildly entertained. I promise, I'll be a better blogger. Forgive me, my friends.

Word.