BBs Take The Lobster

So, last night me and the BBs (breakup buddies) decided to treat ourselves to a kick-ass dinner at a restaurant in Santa Monica that we've all been dying to try and as part of the pact, there was to be NO mention of the "men" - they didn't exist at all. As luck would have it, I also received my quarterly shipment of reserve wine from my favorite winery in the whole wide world - Eberle. That was a good combination because I am a big fan of the corkage fee. We had $80 worth of wine which would have cost us $300+ in the restaurant. It's like a built in coupon of sorts.

Anywhosits, we got all dolled up Steph wore her booby shirt, I wore a hot little backless number and Gwen sported the sexy sophisticated look with some rockin' shoes. We were three hot mammas out on the town. Who needs stupid boys anyway.

From the moment we pulled in, we were turning heads. Now, I'll tell myself it was due to our serious hotness but the reality is, you can take the girl out of a dive bar but not the dive bar out of the girl.

Once we were seated in the hip and crowded establishment, we met with our waitress who immediately thought we were nuts because we had all looked up the menu during the day online and the menu they actually had at the restaurant was completely different. So, while I bitched that they didn't have the entree I had my heart set on, the other two bitched about the lack of a hearts of palm salad. (I don't even know what a heart of palm is - but apparently, it's good.) We also knocked her potential tip down significantly by bringing our own wine - no servers like the "built in coupon". Then we opted for tap water instead of bottled water, because our focus was on drinking the wine and as long as you put lemon slices in the tap water, you can't taste the disgusting organisms and mercury that are probably floating around in there. THEN we asked her a zillion and a half questions about the items actually on the menu. Finally, we opted for a shrimp dish, a lobster dish, and a yellowfin tuna dish. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

The drinking continued at a steady pace and before we knew it, we were cackling hysterically and talking loudly - mostly about things that are completely inappropriate to the snob-heads that dine in fancy establishment. The two old men seated at the table next to us gave us the stink eye every few seconds. I just winked back. And the man on the other table couldn't stop staring longingly at Gwen - while seated with his wife - pig.

By the end of bottle #2, we were conversing with the whole wait staff and doing cheers to our newly single status. At one point I walked to the ladies room and the manager yelled across the room: "HEY! IT'S THE NEWLY SINGLE GIRL!" Awesome. I love hearing that ricochet off the walls while I'm dining.

By the dessert and port wine we were pretty out of control. Still cackling and yacking up a storm. For some reason I thought it would be amusing if I flashed Gwen by pulling my shirt down to reveal lefty while still sitting at the table. After she almost spit out her beverage, I realized that the small asian man seated across the room had been privy to the show and looked like he had just seen a ghost. Oops. That just made me laugh harder. I enjoy scaring the international visitors. They have to go home with some kind of story.

We finally completed our dinner and it was time for us to battle at the valet and go home - full and rather tipsy. As I plopped myself down in the backseat I was blessed with the onset of hiccups and proceeded to serenade the girls all the way home with the sweet sounds of too much wine.

It just goes to show that even when life feels shitty, as long as you keep a smile on your face, good friends around you, and a healthy stock of wine, life is good. That and a little risque flashing makes life worth living - at least that's what the small asian man is thinking. :)