Survival of the Stupidest

It's good to see that according to the poll, I'm not crazy. Now we should just check with my shrink.

Now, onto a serious subject.

Sometimes it truly amazes me how stupid people can be. Now I'm sure we've all seen the Darwin Awards and I get quite a bit of amusement seeing the really stupid people killing themselves off. But there is another strain of stupid people. They are the everyday stupid people that blend in with the rest of us. They are not putting rockets on the back of the snowmobiles or saddling up a crocodile. They aren't brazen. They are just around. And it is these people who drive me up a friggen wall! And living in LA I am subjected to more than my fair share because when they founded Hollywood, they made boobs a must and brains optional.

Let me give you an example from today. I was at the ATM trying to quickly deposit a check. I love ATMs because they allow me to avoid the lines inside with the people who try and deposit a bag of unrolled coins into their accounts. There was a girl about my age in front of me. Fairly attractive, I'll give her that and her grapefruits were definitely courtesy of some Bev Hills plastic surgeon, but she was really struggling. The first time she put her ATM card in upside down I just figured she wasn't paying attention. The second time she attempted it the SAME WAY I thought, "Ok, she's just having a rough day." But, when she tried for the THIRD TIME to put her card in upside down I had to say something. I walked up to her, flipped it over and shoved it into the card slot. And the frightening thing? She looked at me like I was going to rip her off. Yes, I go rob ATM users in a long grey wool skirt, black 4" heel boots and a black cardigan. That's my normal "robbery" attire. She then proceeded to read every single screen WITH HER FINGER (and I'm not talking Braille, here people) and was honestly baffled by the questions.

As I was sitting there tapping my toe to convey the irritation she was presenting into my day, I began to seriously wonder: "How does this woman make it through the day without falling into a manhole or better yet, how did she ever figure out how to put the shower curtain on the rings? Her floor must get wet all the time." (Let's all hope she has doors instead.)

I honestly wonder how it is that these people can survive, when, I'm a fairly intelligent, educated individual and I am often challenged by day-to-day activities such as changing the filter in my Pur faucet system and trying to figure out how to keep "Candy Shop" by Fifty Cent from playing as my ring tone whenever K calls in the middle of a meeting.

It truly is one of life's big mysteries.

I would like, as a blog research experiment, to follow around a person, like ATM girl, for a whole day and document their survival techniques. Unfortunately, I would probably shove a fork into my eye after a very short period of time with this individual, and, because I've already worn a patch once in 2006, I prefer to keep both orbs in tact and just ponder on my own the awesome power that keeps these people alive and in one piece.