I'M AN A - I'M AN A!

So, I'm off to the land of humidity and puffy hair today. But I'm thrilled because I actually get to see my mom on her actual birthday. I am a constant reminder of how complete and wonderful her life is - I mean, who wouldn't want a non-drama, calm, patient daughter like myself? I believe that she's 39 today, so, wish Judy a happy 3-9....again.

Getting to the airport should be interesting. Besides having to actually finish up some work before a leave (a very adult responsibility) I also have to go visit Boot Scoot in the hospital because since going on a date with me, he has had knee surgery, had pneumonia and was admitted into ICU, and then now is back in ICU with a blood clot in his lung. Um, what am I? The curse of the mummy? I better not end up on one of those A&E specials. I can see it now: "Cursed Women and the Men that Die for Their Love". No thanks.

After getting through with visiting blood clots (what do you say to someone with a blood clot? "Thin out soon?") I have the pleasure of figuring out how to get to the airport for free. See, this is my favorite game. This girl isn't paying $15 a day for parking - no way. Charlie is insisting that he take me but I'm not feeling that. I'm thinking of wrangling in one of the girls at work. They don't expect me to come back to them.

But, the best parts of the trip are the following:

1. Thanks to online check-in, I'M AN "A" for both my flights from LAX to Vegas and onto Buffalo. If anyone has flown Southwest, you know this is like hitting the jackpot because not only will I get a window seat (as opposed to a middle seat which all the "C" bitches end up with) but I am also guaranteed to CARRY ON MY LUGGAGE. Which, in Buffalo, saves me about 45 minutes and also guarantees that I will not have to wear my baby sister's clothes for the next three days due to my luggage taking a vacation elsewhere. Those "C" bitches almost always have to check their "carry-on" luggage because apparently, the engineers of the 747 that we fly didn't really expect people to bring clothes and stuff with them on their trips - only the lucky ones. Well, my friends, I AM one of the lucky ones.

2. I am well-stocked with Southwest drink coupons - flight passenger's gold. I'm gonna tell Betty the flight attendant to start bringing the chardonnays and not to stop until I'm sound asleep - drooling. (The drool is really just for effect, since I don't want anyone to think I actually do that in my sleep.) Free booze and perhaps a vicadin for the anxiety of crashing. If I'm going down, I'm going to enjoy it.

So here I go. Magazines? Check. Books? Check. Pink mini iPod? Check. Drink coupons and Vicadin? Check. Now I just have to find my tickets......

Ciao!