The Flaws

I was thinking today about what some of my girlfriends were telling me the other night during our out-of-control girl's night out and combining it with certain thoughts I've been having lately associated with my own relationship. As women, we all sound like broken records.

Now, before all the men break out into immediate applause and the wave, here's what I mean, and please note, that although the drive me crazy, I LOVE men. We will always love men (except those few women who decide to switch teams, and, then, that is just merely an extreme). But, the truth is this:

Men have two major faults: What they say, and what they do.

Think about it for a minute. How many times have you heard your best girlfriend say, "I just don't understand 'him'. He SAID he was going to come over, but he WENT to his buddy's house instead to play poker and then told me that he'd call me LATER." What she really meant to say is, "What an f-ing idiot. He said one thing (that had to do with me) but did another (that didn't) and then after he was good and drunk and sick of sucking on cigars, he'd give me a booty call." Everything else he did that day was fine. Except: what he said and what he did.

So, how can men win? Until they learn the concept of CONSISTENCY I don't think they can.

I've been thinking about it with Charlie. I adore him, I really do. After seeing him Sunday night and spending most of yesterday with him, I couldn't help but think to myself that the reason he drives me batty is because the only thing he is consistent with (with me at least) is being inconsistent. One day: "I love you." The next day: "Your name again?"

When I look at the friends of mine who have good, functional relationships (because YES they do exist), I see that the key from "his" side is pure consistency. If he says he's going to call, he calls. If he says he's going out with the boys, he goes out with the boys (and then we go out with the girls and "boo" the boys when they come in the same bar that we're hanging out at). The only thing that Charlie knows how to do which seems so prevalent (especially in the Venice Beach, CA area) with men in their 20s and 30s (and I'm sure way beyond that) say one thing but do another.

Perhaps they can take a class or a seminar in middle school, when their little pre-pubescent minds are still unscathed by beer and pot and open to learning about the emotional workings of women. Not an elective, either. A required course. "Listen, Think, Speak and Follow-Through: In That Exact Order". We, as women, can take a similar class, "How Not to Analyze Every Single Thing He Does and Says". Between the two classes, by the time relationships actually begin to grow, we may have more of a middle ground and better chance for success.

Unfortunately, I'm 20-something and there are no such classes. So, how can we fix what's wrong? Do we live with it and just accept that men and women ARE different? Or do we, oh my god, educate each other once we are in a stable and ADULT relationship. To each their own, but, I'm a fan of a little bit of both.

Now, my goal - to initiate this theory into my own life....