DING - You Are Now Free to Wear Bad Fashion
The pink beach cruiser got it's share of wear and tear this weekend for sure. With a four-day break spent 95% at the beach, not only does the bike need a tuneup but so does my liver.
The 4th of July is a time to recognize our independence from the Brits by drinking an inordinate amount of liquor, blowing shit up and eating food that you normally wouldn't (i.e., hot dogs). It is also an incredible time to sit on the boardwalk and truly appreciate the melting pot that is the United States of these Americas - in other words, sit and people watch and play the "ding" game.
The "ding" game is pretty much an express ticket to hell. If I weren't as confident that I've been secretly "ding'd" a time or two by strangers on the boardwalk I probably wouldn't play it (or at least not admit to it). The basic premise is to sit and watch people wander by (89.76% of them tourists) and when something is really absurd or horrible to look at you "ding" them. I requested that we actually use a bell like they use at the front desk of hotels, but, I was quickly nixed due to the inhumane essence of the idea. After you sit there for a while dinging and complimenting (it's not all negative, you know - some people get the thumbs up as well).
After a while, I starting wondering why people's friends allowed them to walk out in public in some of the attire that was sported. For example, a woman of no particular race or ethnicity (we like to keep it PC here) walked by and received "ding of the day". She weighed in at about 5'1" and 350 lbs (conservatively) and felt that it was not only fashionable but appropriate for her to wear a white, skin tight, semi-transparent terry cloth (I think), strapless stretch jumpsuit. She was with other people who were all reasonably clothed. It truly befuddled me. When she walked out of the house that morning, why didn't anyone say to her, "Betty, we love you very much and you are beautiful. But, maybe you should put something on that isn't so see-through"???
I know for a fact that if I am wearing something that makes me look like a load of crapola, my friends wouldn't hesitate for a millisecond to tell me to turn my buttocks around and go change. And for that, I get minimal dings. And for that, I love them.
The same rings true (ha ha - pun intended) for the man wearing the hat with hair, the woman wearing shorts 10 sizes too small causing her to have two sets of hips, and the 12-year-old girl wearing what appeared to be nothing more than a paperclip. We are all beautiful in our own light, as long as the light is appropriately covered.
Lesson for the weekend? Friends don't let friends get ding'd.
The 4th of July is a time to recognize our independence from the Brits by drinking an inordinate amount of liquor, blowing shit up and eating food that you normally wouldn't (i.e., hot dogs). It is also an incredible time to sit on the boardwalk and truly appreciate the melting pot that is the United States of these Americas - in other words, sit and people watch and play the "ding" game.The "ding" game is pretty much an express ticket to hell. If I weren't as confident that I've been secretly "ding'd" a time or two by strangers on the boardwalk I probably wouldn't play it (or at least not admit to it). The basic premise is to sit and watch people wander by (89.76% of them tourists) and when something is really absurd or horrible to look at you "ding" them. I requested that we actually use a bell like they use at the front desk of hotels, but, I was quickly nixed due to the inhumane essence of the idea. After you sit there for a while dinging and complimenting (it's not all negative, you know - some people get the thumbs up as well).
After a while, I starting wondering why people's friends allowed them to walk out in public in some of the attire that was sported. For example, a woman of no particular race or ethnicity (we like to keep it PC here) walked by and received "ding of the day". She weighed in at about 5'1" and 350 lbs (conservatively) and felt that it was not only fashionable but appropriate for her to wear a white, skin tight, semi-transparent terry cloth (I think), strapless stretch jumpsuit. She was with other people who were all reasonably clothed. It truly befuddled me. When she walked out of the house that morning, why didn't anyone say to her, "Betty, we love you very much and you are beautiful. But, maybe you should put something on that isn't so see-through"???
I know for a fact that if I am wearing something that makes me look like a load of crapola, my friends wouldn't hesitate for a millisecond to tell me to turn my buttocks around and go change. And for that, I get minimal dings. And for that, I love them.
The same rings true (ha ha - pun intended) for the man wearing the hat with hair, the woman wearing shorts 10 sizes too small causing her to have two sets of hips, and the 12-year-old girl wearing what appeared to be nothing more than a paperclip. We are all beautiful in our own light, as long as the light is appropriately covered.
Lesson for the weekend? Friends don't let friends get ding'd.
posted by Rach2LA @ 4:24 PM
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