Desperate Non-Wives?
My boss unwittingly said something interesting today that I found incredibly relevant to the blog. We were talking about the fact that I don't have the second job for the money - it's really just to keep me out of trouble and for every night I work, it's a night that I don't go out, which saves me about $50 million minimum per night (feels that way at least).
He was flabbergasted at the amount that I threw out (I think I actually said $50) saying that he can't believe how much money "singles" spend on "entertainment" (not including strippers, I reminded him). He used a restaurant that my friends and I frequent often as an example and described it as "a parade of beautiful young women wearing really tight jeans who consistently spend $50-100 on 'wine and a heavy snack'".
I applauded him for admitting that he notices the women in tight jeans, but then he made a statement that made me do an immediate head scratch and knife-out-of-the-back removal. "It's amazing, single women put off such a completely different vibe than married women. They seem to have something to prove."
Heh? Put the brakes on there, bub.
There are definitely plenty of women out there (particularly in LA) that put off the "PICK ME PICK ME" vibe. But, it's a generalization that single women bear, and, to be beratingly blunt of my own gender, it's just as true for married women (out here at least - in fact I've seen a HELL of a lot more tight jeans and plastic surgery on married women than singles - sorry, it's true).
So what is it? Do single women (or women in general) have something to prove? And if so - what are we proving and to whom?
I thought long and hard (ha ha) about this (during a "CSI" marathon - damn that George Eads is fine). My internal debate lasted throughout four episodes, and here is what I concluded. And ladies, some of you are not going to like this one bit - too bad.
In my 20-something years, I have noticed an overwhelming trend that is often taboo to speak about. Women (SINGLE AND MARRIED AND DIVORCED AND GAY AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN) are competitive by nature. They are competitive with each other, end of story.
Perhaps it started in the caveman days when woman's sole reason for living was to pop out mini cavemen and applaud man for discovering fire - our lives as a gender revolved around luring and sustaining a man (actually kind of sounds like all of history up until the 60s - puke). If Joe the Caveman picked another cavewoman over you, you would be banished to picking fruit or some crap (I never claimed to be an expert in caveperson sociology). Other women stood in the way of you being acknowledged as a productive, valuable human being. A woman had to stave off the other bitches who = COMPETITION.
Unfortunately, this was absorbed into our very beings enabling women to continue to consciously or unconsciously look at other women as competition. Think back to middle school when the "she-said" friend wars persisted. Or in high school when boyfriend drama was actually considered an extracurricular activity. And even now when you're out at dinner and a gorgeous supermodelesque gazelle cruises by and your man's mouth drops open and small amounts of drool fall out. Even if you're not a jealous woman, a little flicker of competition is ignited. We may get older and develop our female-to-female relationships (most of my closest relationships are with women), but, at times, we are out to prove to OTHER WOMEN that we are hot to trot and a being to be reckoned with.
So that's that. I am going against the grain and conceding to one aspect of my boss' male egocentric statement - we are to prove something - our innate (and the more I think about it vomit-inducing) desire to prove our validity as females within the species. We (all women - not just the single ones) wear the tight jeans and the Manolos and the boob shirts for other women - not for the men.
I wish I could say that I'm different but some of the most ego-boosting moments in my life have been when I receive a legitimate compliment from another woman. It's amazing how much further a female stranger's compliment goes than that of a male's- like King Kong telling Godzilla that he's a bad ass fighter...
So cheers to the ladies - our love/hate relationship will continue on and let's also continue to look cute for each other - drives the men wild. ;)
He was flabbergasted at the amount that I threw out (I think I actually said $50) saying that he can't believe how much money "singles" spend on "entertainment" (not including strippers, I reminded him). He used a restaurant that my friends and I frequent often as an example and described it as "a parade of beautiful young women wearing really tight jeans who consistently spend $50-100 on 'wine and a heavy snack'".
I applauded him for admitting that he notices the women in tight jeans, but then he made a statement that made me do an immediate head scratch and knife-out-of-the-back removal. "It's amazing, single women put off such a completely different vibe than married women. They seem to have something to prove."
Heh? Put the brakes on there, bub.
There are definitely plenty of women out there (particularly in LA) that put off the "PICK ME PICK ME" vibe. But, it's a generalization that single women bear, and, to be beratingly blunt of my own gender, it's just as true for married women (out here at least - in fact I've seen a HELL of a lot more tight jeans and plastic surgery on married women than singles - sorry, it's true).
So what is it? Do single women (or women in general) have something to prove? And if so - what are we proving and to whom?
I thought long and hard (ha ha) about this (during a "CSI" marathon - damn that George Eads is fine). My internal debate lasted throughout four episodes, and here is what I concluded. And ladies, some of you are not going to like this one bit - too bad.
In my 20-something years, I have noticed an overwhelming trend that is often taboo to speak about. Women (SINGLE AND MARRIED AND DIVORCED AND GAY AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN) are competitive by nature. They are competitive with each other, end of story.
Perhaps it started in the caveman days when woman's sole reason for living was to pop out mini cavemen and applaud man for discovering fire - our lives as a gender revolved around luring and sustaining a man (actually kind of sounds like all of history up until the 60s - puke). If Joe the Caveman picked another cavewoman over you, you would be banished to picking fruit or some crap (I never claimed to be an expert in caveperson sociology). Other women stood in the way of you being acknowledged as a productive, valuable human being. A woman had to stave off the other bitches who = COMPETITION.
Unfortunately, this was absorbed into our very beings enabling women to continue to consciously or unconsciously look at other women as competition. Think back to middle school when the "she-said" friend wars persisted. Or in high school when boyfriend drama was actually considered an extracurricular activity. And even now when you're out at dinner and a gorgeous supermodelesque gazelle cruises by and your man's mouth drops open and small amounts of drool fall out. Even if you're not a jealous woman, a little flicker of competition is ignited. We may get older and develop our female-to-female relationships (most of my closest relationships are with women), but, at times, we are out to prove to OTHER WOMEN that we are hot to trot and a being to be reckoned with.
So that's that. I am going against the grain and conceding to one aspect of my boss' male egocentric statement - we are to prove something - our innate (and the more I think about it vomit-inducing) desire to prove our validity as females within the species. We (all women - not just the single ones) wear the tight jeans and the Manolos and the boob shirts for other women - not for the men.
I wish I could say that I'm different but some of the most ego-boosting moments in my life have been when I receive a legitimate compliment from another woman. It's amazing how much further a female stranger's compliment goes than that of a male's- like King Kong telling Godzilla that he's a bad ass fighter...
So cheers to the ladies - our love/hate relationship will continue on and let's also continue to look cute for each other - drives the men wild. ;)
posted by Rach2LA @ 11:41 AM
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