Everybody Feng Shui Tonight

My theory is, when in doubt - feng shui. I lie - that just sounded good. I've actually never feng shui'd before but I thought, "Better late than never, eh?"

If you remember, I tried some holistic stuff a few months ago when I became the human pin cushion with acupuncture for my back, and we all know how that rocked my world. So, perhaps there's validity to chi and feng shui and energy rerouting, etc. I figure it's worth a whirl.

I went online (because god forbid we crack a book) and got some information on love and feng shui since, in reality, that's the one thing I have crap luck at. (That and blackjack, but, I couldn't find that covered anywhere on the feng shui websites.)

The first step was to break the bedroom into 9 squares, each square representing a certain aspect of my life (knowledge, kids, money, career, love, etc). Unfortunately, when you have a bedroom that is about 10'x12' your "squares" kind of blend together. I pretty much said "screw it" to all the squares but the love one - the southwest corner of my room. Now, wouldn't you know it, that's where my TV and lingerie stand are (by the way, the lingerie stand holds sweaters - perhaps that's where my problems begin).

The sites gave numerous objects to place in this special corner - flowers, candles, pictures, pendants, incense, etc. But the key was to have everything in pairs. BINGO. That explains it all. Floyd, my fish, needs a date. He sits in the southwest corner alone and that MUST be the reason for my ill-fated love life. I went out and bought him a mate, Magpie.

She died within 24 hours. Uh oh.

I also put two roses, two pink candles and all my framed photos in the corner. Unfortunately, now that corner of my room looked like a makeshift shrine which creeped me out a bit and just appeared extremely cluttered.

And because I'm Rachel? That doesn't fly.

My feng shui had the shelf life of the Floyd's girlfriend. I couldn't stand the hodgepodge of crap that loomed like a psycho girl's love shrine in the corner. It's just not me. The roses got carted to the kitchen, the framed pictures went back to where they originally lived, Floyd remains single and I kept the candles for shits and giggles (plus they smell like strawberries, mmmm).

I just don't think bedroom feng shui can work when your bedroom is the size of a large closet, which for a lot of us 20-somethings in LA is the case (for the bargain basement price of $2500 a month).

I'll stick with my original set up - I added a few plants and cleaned the cobwebs out from behind my dresser. I think that'll help my chi, feng shui karma for a bit - at the very least, it got my ass in gear to clean my room.

You can't kill a girl for trying.....