Bumper Stickers and Late School Nights

So, I really have to ask myself sometimes, "What the hell is wrong with people?" I walked out to my car last night and in front of me, was a parked car with a license plate frame that read, and I quote: "I LOVE BIG TITS!"

At what point, did this individual ever think to himself, "Hey, that's awesome - that will totally get me chicks with big hooters. That's immediately going on my Honda Element."

It took all the power in my body to keep me from scribbling on a piece of paper and leaving on his windshield, "Whomever drives this car so obviously also loves small penises!" But I didn't. I was running late and didn't have a pen. But, I was tempted for sure.

Off I went with my mind at ease knowing that Mr. Element driver loves large breasts. Lyn and I were rockin' the Mayan Theatre (please refer to an entry from October of last year where I got kicked out of the establishment for running around the catwalks hunting down a microphone to "get the party started" - that's where we were) to see Toad the Wet Sprocket and Matt Nathanson (yes, I know Toad is very 90s, but, they put on a great show). Matt Nathanson opened and I'll tell ya, he's got some serious talent - I'd definitely recommend him. He's also hot which never hurt. (Weird - I have something with hot men and guitars lately.)

Unfortunately, the bartender made our drinks all booze with a splash of mixer so by the end of the show, I had the stupid idea to scoot over to the Standard hotel and continue the evening. BAD IDEA. Not only did I end up spending way too much money, get irritated by a girl on crazy ass drugs who was making out with the sculptured shrubbery, and get hit on by a guy who, within two sentences told me he lived in LA and then said he lived in Europe - MORON, but I also got home too late for a school night. They should make shock collars for humans for when we make poor intoxicated decisions. Honestly, I would be significantly richer and well-rested. But no, no shock collar for me - not yet at least.

By the time we returned home, Big Tit man had departed. I was totally bummed because I was ready and willing to drop him a line. No shock needed there. Perhaps I'll be so lucky as to have a "next time"....