The Ultimate Driving IQ Test

If you have ever approached a four-way stop sign and:
a) panicked;
b) stopped and allowed 8 cars to go before you grow balls and do it yourself;
c) lost all ability to understand even the simplest of concepts;
d) all of the above
Go to jail and do not pass GO - you should immediately be turned into the moron-police and be forced to resign your driving privileges.

That theory alone would reduce the traffic congestion in the greater Los Angeles area by a minimum of 65.7843% (+/- .34%).

As a semi-intelligent, self-aware and self-proclaimed amazing driver, when I am faced with a four-way stop I use common sense. First one there goes, and if no one goes by the count of 2 - I'm out. Or, as my friend Will says, "If anyone hesitates, I roll." But for those poor individuals that are apparently less than smart (at least when it comes to driving), the four-way stop can really be reason for distress.

Now, not to make a sweeping generalization or anything (but I will), but the elderly seem to have the toughest time with the F.W.S (four-way stop). (Apparently, F.W.S. weren't introduced into society until after I was born??) So, I went to www.seniordrivers.org to find out if the F.W.S. was addressed to that generation. Sure enough, there was not only a website called seniordrivers.org (I was just being a smart ass and typed that in) but they did address the situation at hand.

And I quote seniordrivers.org : "When approaching a four-way stop, stop and look for oncoming traffic, and proceed when it is safe to do so." Hey, now there's a novel idea. I mean, stop and then go when it's safe? Wow. Who would have thunk?

Maybe I sound bitchy, and that's ok because it's my party and I'll cry if I want to. It just really baffles me that seemingly normal, quasi-intelligent people can be so severely challenged by such a simple concept. COME ON PEOPLE. No one is asking you to define the laws of thermodynamics or calculate the temperature of the third moon to the west of jupiter's lowest point. You stop. You go.

Like I said, if you can't do it take the bus, a cab, walk, bike, rollerblade, cartwheel or skateboard. Just don't drive anymore. By doing that, you will make the lives of us superior ones much easier.

I rest my case. Deep breaths.